When Everything Feels Like Too Much: 5 Things You Can Control

Some days, it feels like the wheels are falling off before I even finish my coffee.

One kid wakes up sick. The store is out of what I need. A meeting gets moved. A calf breaks through a fence. A grandparent needs help. And suddenly, that carefully planned to-do list I wrote in my planner (with color-coded highlighters, no less) is on fire.

If you’ve ever found yourself spiraling — emotionally, logistically, spiritually, all of it — you’re not alone. I live this tension daily, juggling multiple businesses, animals, kids, a marriage, caretaking, and all the invisible labor that comes with being the glue in a family.

But here’s what I’ve learned: when everything feels out of control, it helps to focus on the few things that aren’t.

So today, I’m sharing 5 things you can control when life feels like it’s spiraling — not because I’ve mastered them, but because I come back to them over and over again. They’re not magic. But they help me keep my head above water (most days).

1. Your Breathing (and your browser tabs)

When I feel myself spinning, I stop and take three deep breaths. The kind that expand your ribs and make you exhale loud enough to scare the dog. I also close at least half the 37 tabs open in my brain and on my screen.

You don’t have to solve everything in the next 10 minutes. You just have to breathe.

2. Your Next Right Thing

Not your whole to-do list. Not the 12 overlapping priorities. Just one next right thing.

Sometimes that’s folding the towels. Sometimes it’s texting someone back. Sometimes it’s sitting in your car for five extra minutes to cry and regroup. Momentum builds when you stop trying to do it all and start with one thing.

3. Your Expectations

This one’s hard. But the truth is, a lot of our spiraling comes from the gap between what we planned and what’s actually happening.

Adjusting expectations doesn’t mean you’re lowering your standards. It means you’re honoring your capacity. You are not failing because your day got rerouted. You are responding, and that’s powerful.

4. Your Inner Voice

When everything’s a mess, my inner critic gets LOUD. She tells me I’m behind. That I should be handling it better. That other women are managing more with less.

That voice? She doesn’t get to drive.

I’ve started asking myself: Would I speak to my best friend this way? If not, I don’t say it to myself. Period.

5. Your Support System

Whether it’s texting your spouse, asking your mom to bring dinner, calling a friend to vent, or letting your toddler watch their iPad while you regroup — you don’t have to power through everything solo.

Rural women are known for being strong. But strength also looks like asking for help before you break. Leaning on people is not weakness. It’s wisdom.

If You’re in a Spiral Right Now…

Take a deep breath, friend. You’re doing more than you know.

Your work matters. Your presence matters. And so does your peace.

Even when it feels like everything is spinning, you are not failing. You are living. And you’re allowed to rewrite the plan when the real world demands it.

We’re in this together.